Why 2020? An attempt to explain.

New Year's Eve 2019: Mike and I were celebrating with friends, we had delicious food, played games and just had a nice simple time. The usual relaxed New Year’s Eve house party.  At midnight we had a great view from my friend’s balcony looking over Munich. We enjoyed the fireworks and all felt euphoric about 2020.

„2020 will be an amazing year!“

„2020 will bring change, a new decade, let’s go!“

„2020 what a great number, we will have the best year ever and the new decade will be amazing!“




Well nope! Plain and simple… NOPE!  It was the biggest hoax ever. Well, actually nobody predicted it would be a great year, we just made it up - it felt so good!


Who knew that in a few months my life and the life of everyone else would be changed dramatically by a tiny Virus with a tiny crown on its head. Sometimes I feel like a figurine in the game Monopoly:

„Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200“

Here we are, sitting in not only a physical but a mental prison of the mind, dwelling on what happened this year. What happened all over the world?


I have studied and practiced spirituality for about 20 years now. I read a lot of books about it and attend workshops & seminars regularly. I was 20 years old when I joined performing arts school and my accent teacher encouraged me to read „Conversations with God“ by Neale Donald Walsh. It’s a fascinating book and a good book to start approaching spirituality. My teacher probably wanted me to learn that as an artist you are always on the search for an identity, inside and outside of yourself. Portraying characters on stage and on the screen means to look inwards and ask questions, and not all of them can be answered easily. Spirituality can help to reflect and answer your most vexing questions. It helped me grow personally and get to know myself better and made me realise there is more going on between heaven and earth than we can explain with our logical mind.


When it all started in March 2020 I was sitting shocked watching the news in my apartment in Brooklyn, New York. You can read here how it felt. I was thinking: this is what everyone talked about! Many, many spiritual books talk about a new era that is approaching. One that will bring change, awaken the consciousness of people and lead the ascent into a new dimension. I know that sounds very out there but bear with me!


All in all most spiritual books that I have read mention an upcoming expansion of consciousness. It wasn’t said how it will happen exactly, but it was clear that it will happen and everyone will realise that things need to change. It was often explained that old systems need to fall apart so new ones can come in their place, also that corruption and fraud will come to the surface. Eliminate power, greed and ego to encourage empathy, solidarity and fairness. The universe really made a bold move by using a pandemic as a vehicle for change. It’s like a clever chess move as we can only overcome this crisis together with empathy and team spirit. All of us are now able to see which areas need change e.g. governments, health care systems and school systems. We see how limited they are and that they need to be reformed.


We also are able to wake up and recognise how we are all a part of the bigger picture, everyone plays a part in making the world better and kinder. 

Unfortunately we only wake up from a nightmare, not from a pretty beach dream.

We have the opportunity to check our life, what fits into it, and what makes us happy if you take away all the outside distraction.


I hope and believe many people find out the most valuable things in life can’t be bought with money. Unfortunately we take these things for granted all the time: love, care, solidarity, fairness, empathy, equality etc. Everyone can practice those traits if he or she wishes to do so. We have been blinded by what is bigger, better and faster. But the virus doesn’t care if we have 10, 100 or 1 Million Dollars in our account. We are all equal in the vulnerability it brings to us.


The year has been difficult to say the least, so we have to discover the small things in life again that make us happy. And these small treasures hide very well from us on some days. During this difficult time we have to pass on a lot of activities and are restrained. For some people in this world this is a normal every day situation, they don’t have the same freedom as we do in their country or society. Especially a lot of women don’t live as freely as we do. Maybe a silver lining is that we will start to feel some empathy towards those humans who are not free, finally we may relate. 


Another very interesting part of this year has to do with astrology. I am not a pro at all but took some time to read about it and its really fascinating, almost spooky. Perhaps the stars and planets can explain a bigger picture?


Saturn/Pluto/Jupiter constellations exist in 2020. Those constellation were also happening in some kind of connection in previous years of pandemics:

- The plague in 1720

- The Spanish flu in 1920

- Aids in 1980

- Corona in 2020


Many different astrology sites explain these connections and that it was these 3 planets that were intervening with each other while there were diseases spreading on earth. That can’t be such a simple coincidence. You can do your own research online if you are interested. 


Furthermore another astrology phenomenon will happen this year on 21st dec 2020. The star of Bethlehem appears in the night sky again after 400 years. Saturn and Jupiter come very close to each other and appear as one big bright star. The last time those two stars were that close was in 1623. Spiritually this is the most important day of the year. I recommend to do a meditation and send out your wishes that day. 


I am not an astrology freak but I find these two phenomenons extremely fascinating how they fit into what happened this year. 

I have to admit that I can’t imagine that all of this pain and individual challenges are happening for no reason. I believe we can look forward to a new time, in which we should actively create and have more control in our lives. Things can change if enough people take action, we flattened the curve in NYC in April and the US changed how elections are held and people showed up to make change happen. Don’t we all want a more fair and loving society? But most of us just watched in the last decades instead of standing up and fighting for topics that are important to us. I also mostly complained about stuff but didn’t really do much about it.

Except this year, for the first time in my life I demonstrated!

For my colleagues and my profession, I stood up for performing artists who are struggling and who barely get any government help in Germany. And with many jobs being gone this year I realised how little my profession is valued in German society unfortunately. The big revelation came when I understood that I myself have to stand up for myself and my profession, so society can also see the importance of it from a practitioner’s perspective. I need to value my art so others can too. Acting is not a hobby to earn a few dollar for fun. Society needs to see that without Netflix and Music the lockdowns would have been pretty miserable. Everyone has the ability to reflect on who we are and who we want to be in society.


I hope I have inspired you to see also a chance in this crisis. Challenges are real every day and I also struggle to always see the positive side, there are days (and we all have them) where I am extremely frustrated, angry and sad. It’s a long rollercoaster ride. But in the end we have to make the best of it again. So again remember: hands in the air, scream if you must and enjoy the wind in your hair. 


Stay optimistic, get your anger out and most importantly stay kind to yourself. 

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